Although it may be very tempting to resolve our lack of sexual desire with a pill or other momentary stimulant, there are aspects of our lives that may be affecting our sexuality without us being aware of it.
We compiled a list of six things you would like to consider:
1. A medication
Perhaps you started a medical treatment and one of the drugs you are taking has among its side effects the reduction of libido.
Both men and women may experience sexual dysfunction caused by physical factors or by a medication they are taking or both.
In fact, medicines against high blood pressure and depression can affect sexual desire and the possibility of getting an orgasm.
That is why it is important to ask the doctor what kind of side effects the medicines prescribed for you have and what other options can be explored if they affect your libido.
It is also important to know that there are diseases that affect blood flow and sexual response such as diabetes and heart and kidney diseases.
2. Problems of self-esteem and self-imposed expectations
Not feeling attractive or sexy may be playing a key role in the way we approach our sexuality.
In the case of some women they also influence (in the way they are perceived) the changes that occur in their bodies during pregnancies and after births or caesarean sections: scars, weight gain, stretch marks, in some cases fecal incontinence after childbirth traumatic.
- The incontinence that few want to talk about and that affects women more than men
And the arrival of children is a variable that can affect the intimacy of the couple, in some cases dramatically.
- Why are women more likely to lose their sexual appetite than men and how to get it back?
For both genders, weight gain or hair loss can influence the feeling of feeling less desirable.
There are social pressures and an idealized image of penis size by the pornographic industry and the media, which provides a distorted view of what is normal.
There are many social prejudices with issues related to sexuality and some men may be concerned about penis size, even if it is normal.
- What does it really mean for men to have a small penis?
The patient may feel inhibited when starting a sexual relationship, for fear of not meeting the expectations of the couple. Therefore, self-acceptance is essential.
3. Negative experiences in the past that we have not addressed
Although sexual desire is natural and biological, cultural, religious, social and family factors also influence the way we assume sexual relations.
For some people, this story supports an attitude of healthy enjoyment of sex. For others, it complicates sexual intercourse.
That’s why experts recommend asking for specialized help to address fears, traumas or past experiences that may be affecting you.
4. Alcohol consumption
Although a glass of wine can stimulate your libido, drinking too much alcohol can affect your sexual performance and the possibility of reaching an orgasm.
5. An infection that you have not noticed
Vaginal candidiasis is a common condition, which worsens with high blood glucose levels, and makes sexual intercourse uncomfortable.
Another condition is bacterial vaginosis, BV, which is the most common vaginal infection in women aged 15 to 44 years and is caused by an excessive amount of certain bacteria that causes a bacterial imbalance in the vagina.
Certain soaps and chemicals can cause irritation, itching and burning in the vagina and that can make sexual intercourse painful for many women.
The same goes for cystitis, one of the most common bacterial infections.
6. Be constantly in a hurry
And although that seems to be part of the current rhythm of life, it is essential to stop and give us time not only to relax in the face of a sexual encounter with our partner but also for her or him to also get in tune.
You have to find the time to caress, kiss and touch each other, that is one of the recommendations of experts.
Sensory focus techniques used by sex therapists can help you restore physical intimacy without feeling pressured. Many self-help books and educational videos offer variations on these exercises. You can also ask your partner to touch you in the way you would like to be touched. This will give you a better idea of how much pressure, from soft to firm, you should use.